Sunday, June 10, 2007

The fastest way to feeling obese...

better known by it's common name: bathing suit shopping.
Anyone who knows me, knows I joined Weight watchers, lost weight and am jogging 10 K three times a week. What is the next step you ask? Ah yes, squeezing my bum into a new suit. You might imagine, from the previous sentence that this would be like a reward, or at worst an okay experience...think again!

So off to Sport Chec I go (I'm also cheap so not boutiques for me). What is it about those change rooms? Are they especially designed to highlight every bump and blemish on your behind? Why are the rooms so small? For that matter, why are the suits so small? The one I ended up buying is a medium. Medium???!!! It's not even a medium square of toilet paper. If you were in the lou, noticed you were out and called to the next stall, "Hey, can you hand me a medium sized bunch of paper please?" and she gave you paper the size of this suit you'd be upset (and you'd have to wash your hands).

Here's how I eventually ended up picking one. If I sort of squinted, imagined that my stretch marks don't exist, that I actually always clench my butt cheeks and that the hail damage on my bum is Britney's not mine...it looks okay. Oh and it was the one on sale. Ding, ding, ding...we have a winner!

Now to find a pair of board shorts wear over it so I don't cause anyone permanent retinal damage.

Good luck to the rest of the non-super model moms out there who just want a decent suit to wear to the beach with their kids. I wish you well!!

8 comments:

I think you're crazy just like me said...

OMG. My maternity bathing suit from when I was pregnant with Gayle( my second of the four) fits me normally now. OUCH! LOL!!!!

Haley-O said...

I could SUE some of these maternity stores for TRAUMATIZING me with their MAGNIFYING MIRRORS! I totally know what you mean about those mirrors! So unfair. I bet you LOOK GREAT!

Kimberly said...

I ordered mine from a catalogue because I couldn't bear the humiliation of shopping for one.

It's in a drawer.

With the tags still on.

Elizabeth-W said...

Just be glad it says medium, Missy :) I found that ordering a "tall" in my size seemed to fit better--but your picture makes me think you are already tall...so maybe that won't work.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Mine is a hand me down from my mom's "fat" days with a nice matronly hibiscus print all over it. It doesn't really matter since I cover it up with a huge T-shirt and shorts anyway.

Now, if I had70 bucks to spare, I'd buy a super modest suit from her to match my girls.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Ooops I got that linkie wrong. The company is called Ohana Swimwear.

shay said...

Crazy-I got rid of my maternity suit, mostly so I wouldn't know if it still fit lol.

Haley - I had blocked that experience from my mind. I remember being HUGE and some chick pranced in and kept asking for smaller mat sizes. AND she was due BEFORE ME!! ARGGGG!

Kim-I did that last year lol. Glad I'm not alone.

Elizabeth-nope not tall. I'm totally average. 5'5" actually. I'm pretty muscular though so I'm not so dainty looking in a suit even when fully fit and trim. I must be taller than they make though cuz I can never find a one piece to fit properly.

Elastic-I LOVE those! I remember seeing those when I was preggo with boy #1 at my aqua-areobics class. They seems so practical! Especially for kids.

mighty morphing mom said...

Ah Shay, I have nothing to say on this topic because in a couple of weeks you will be seeing me in my 'MiracleSuit' the only miracle being is that I can squeeze myself like a sausage into it and then bear my humiliation long enough to take the brood to the pool for an hour and hide in the baby pond:)